The ABCs of TIFF

The Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is fast approaching and I'm getting SUPER excited! Normally I post a write-up on my blog after an event takes place but this time I thought I'd try something different. Since TIFF is a world-class event that needs no introduction and I'm not keen on blogging film reviews (I watch too many movies for that to be a practical goal), I decided to create a handy guide for TIFF-goers. Whether you're a seasoned regular or this is your first year at the Festival, here is my personal, completely biased and unendorsed guide to TIFF.

The ABCs of TIFF

A is for Audience
Obviously at TIFF screenings you are part of an audience, but this might be an audience experience you aren't totally accustomed to. Maybe you're like me and you enjoy a wide berth of personal space at a movie theatre. Nope. Not gonna happen. TIFF screenings are packed and I mean PACKED. Often every single seat is filled so get used to only using your seat's designated amount of space and get cozy with your neighbours. We're all in this together.

B is for Backlight
Talking throughout a movie is pretty much understood to be a dick move and for the most part TIFF audiences are good about knowing when to STFU and watch the film. Unfortunately, I find TIFF audiences are some of the worst for the newest trend in poor cinema etiquette: using their smart phones to text, tweet and e-mail while the movie is playing. Not cool guys. Not cool. Shining backlights are brighter than you think and are extremely distracting. Turn it off before the movie begins. Like, actually all the way off. Thank-you.

C is for Contemporary World Cinema
TIFF is a great opportunity to see a stellar line-up of international films that you might not get the chance to see otherwise. Take advantage of it! Limiting yourself to English-language films makes it impossible to potentially see the best of what the Festival has to offer. This year I'm seeing my first Costa Rican film ever and I'm super psyched because, why not? I'm also seeing films from South Korea, Mexico, Japan, Sweden, New Zealand, Norway, Russia, Spain, the Philippines, France, the UK, Canada and (of course) the USA. TIFF allows you to travel around the world through film.

D is for Date
Movies are great for dates but for TIFF movies they are not at all required. If you're thinking of seeing a TIFF flick and you can't lock down a date, go by yourself. There is no shame in seeing a movie alone any time, but at TIFF it's the norm for a lot of patrons (myself included). No one will think it's sad and pathetic. In fact, it's doubtful anyone will even notice. Dates be damned! Go see your movie.

E is for Early
One of the first things you learn attending TIFF is that you need to adjust your clocks to TIFF time, which basically means be early for everything. If your movie is at 7pm and you're planning on getting there at 6:30pm or even 6:45pm, you are going to have a rough time easing into your preferred seat in the theatre, especially if you're not alone. Planning to arrive early for screenings is just part of the reality of TIFF. A good rule of thumb if you're picky about seat selection is to arrive an hour before your movie begins. I know. It seems extreme. But 9/10 times if you arrive an hour before your movie, you won't even be the first person in line. Trust me. This is a keen crowd.

F is for Food
Keeping hunger at bay while running from movie to movie can be tricky. There often isn't time to sit down to a meal during TIFF and you can only eat so many hot dogs and slices of pizza before you start to feel gross. Try to always keep some food on hand while at TIFF. A granola bar or a handful of veggies in a bag can be your salvation when your schedule gets tight and you have to sacrifice meals for movies.

G is for Gala
Ahhh the red carpet. The glitz and the glamour and all the stars. For some, this is what TIFF is all about. Gala (a.k.a. "Premium") screenings are your best bet if you're into that scene. This is where Hollywood lives at the Festival. It's not for everyone. It's not for me. But I acknowledge that there is a certain amount of cachet to attending screenings that feel more like movie premieres, complete with photographers and hangers-on. Dress appropriately.

H is for Holding Seats
We all have to do it at one point or another. But there is a difference between holding a single seat for a date and trying to reserve an entire row for every single person you know. If you're travelling in a pack at TIFF, make sure everyone is there to hold their own seats so we don't have to hear "Is that seat free?", "Oh, ALL those seats are taken?" at every screening. 

I is for Interaction
It's true that many patrons like to use TIFF screenings as an opportunity to interact and converse with similar-minded people and it's true that this is part of the appeal of the Festival for many people. It's also true that not everyone is into it all the time and that's okay. I've had some fun experiences chatting with strangers in line for TIFF screenings and I've also had to literally turn my back and put in my headphones to stop unwanted interactions. My advice is to enjoy whatever level of interaction you're comfortable with and don't feel compelled to feign BFFs with strangers if you're not feeling it.

J is for Jerks
Story time! The first year I really went all out for TIFF I was sitting in a theatre at the Cumberland and a woman asked me how many films I was seeing. I replied "Twenty.", feeling pretty good about myself. She scoffed and said "Moderate." and I was devastated. Don't be a jerk guys. It's not a contest.

K is for Kidneys
Always be aware of your kidneys! Always be aware of where the bathrooms are and use them before the movie starts. You don't want to climb out of a packed theatre and miss the film. You also don't want to abuse your poor kidneys. Sort yourself out.

L is for Lines
The worst. Unavoidable. Everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Only a handful of times have I managed to get into a TIFF screening without standing in line. Sometimes if it's an early morning screening they'll let you wander in sans line and it's the sweetest victory. Typically you can expect to be placed in a line before every movie you see. Get used to it. Wear comfy shoes.

M is for Midnight Madness
I make a point of telling everyone I talk to about TIFF to go to at least one Midnight Madness screening during the Festival. Maybe you're put off by the timing (they are actually screened at midnight) or the subject matter (they tend towards horror genre films) but it is an experience that everyone attending TIFF needs to have. Midnight Madness audiences are without a doubt the best audiences of the Festival. These guys are SO into it and their enthusiasm is infectious. It feels like a community within a community of film and I always have a great time at  the screenings. Do it!

N is for N00BS
This might be your twenty-something-th TIFF and you can afford to be blasé about it (although, c'mon, it's still pretty shiny and awesome, admit it) but there are first-timers everywhere and it's not cool to mock their wide eyes as they take it all in. And don't bust their balls if you see them making rookie mistakes or overhear them asking "dumb" questions. That was you once upon a time.

O is for Off-Sale
What does Off-Sale mean? In TIFF language it means that the movie you wanted to see no longer has advance tickets available for purchase. So what now? Well, there are two options. You can check at the crack of dawn the day of the screening to see if any Same-Day tickets have been released. You might get lucky. OR you can brave the Rush Line. I tend to avoid the Rush Line at TIFF but on occasion I too find myself desperately seeking hard to find tickets. This is the best example of how being early and keen are rewarded at TIFF. Get yourself in that Rush Line as early as you can. Being first practically guarantees you a ticket. Good luck!

P is for Popcorn
Do I love popcorn because I love movies or do I love movies because I love popcorn? We may never know. My advice here: pace yourself with concessions. If you're the type who has to have popcorn at the movies and you're seeing 20+ films at TIFF... it won't end well.

Q is for Q&As
Q&As are one of the many appealing things about attending TIFF. They don't happen at every single screening but they try to have them whenever possible, often with the director, producer, crew and even actors present. You are not obligated to stay if you have another film to see or you're just not that into it, but if you decide to leave you should try to do it before it gets underway. If you decide to stay and ask a question, make sure your question is an actual question and not your musings on the film. Keep that shit for your blog, no one wants to hear it. Oh man, my list of super awkward Q&A moments at TIFF is epic. Ask me about it sometime.

R is for Reviews
You've picked your movies and you feel good about 'em and then the reviews start pouring in. Uh-oh. It looks like you passed over some great films and what's worse, you're seeing some films that the critics don't seem to be very excited about. What now?!? My advice? Stick with your gut. There's a reason you picked that film out of all the others, right? Not to mention, there's a reason the programmer picked that film out of all the others, right? Using reviews as a guideline is great but the opinions of reviewers aren't infallible. Just this morning I read two separate reviews for one of my films. One reviewer ranked it 2/5 stars and the other gave it 8/10. You never know unless you see it for yourself.

S is for Schedule
Making your TIFF schedule can be the most frustrating part of the Festival. Even when it's done it can be affected by all kinds of hiccups: late starts, long intros, technical difficulties, lengthy Q&As, traffic, transit, etc. etc. Try not to pack it too tight so that there's room for error. Also, the laws of physics won't be suspended so that you can make it from the Bloor to the Lightbox in 15 minutes. Plan accordingly.

T is for #TIFF13
Wanna hear what everyone is saying about the Festival and their movies? Twitter can be your best friend during TIFF and often is your only source of companionship in line. Tweet using #TIFF13 and join the conversation.

U is for Umbrella
Because sometimes it rains! Duh.

V is for Vote
It's generally understood that the most coveted award handed out at TIFF is the People's Choice Award. It's a mark of distinction that could potentially start a film on its journey to the Academy Awards. If you want to be a part of that process, the only way you can do it effectively is by voting for your favorite film at TIFF. You could help pick a winner so don't forget to get those ballots in!

W is for Wavelengths
Up until recently, I was guilty of thinking the Wavelengths category at TIFF was for experimental films only and because of my ignorance I probably passed up on some really good titles. Fortunately this year I decided to take a closer look and am happy to report I am seeing my first film(s) from the Wavelengths programme. The lesson here: don't make generalizations, take a closer look and decide for yourself.

X is for XI
Betcha didn't think I'd find an "X" entry, huh? This is my eleventh year attending TIFF, hence XI. Ta-da!

Y is for Yoga
One of the most important TIFF lessons I've learned in recent years is that it's very easy to cause yourself strain and discomfort after sitting in movie theatres 20+ times in a short span of days. Maybe it's just me getting older, but I need to spend time stretching it out between screenings or else my muscles stage a revolt. Try to remember to stretch whenever possible and if you know you're spending a few hours in a seated position, try to get in a good walk beforehand. Your body will thank you.

Z is for Zut Alors!
No matter how much you plan out your TIFF experience things will run amuck. You will see movies that don't live up to the hype. You will encounter jerks. You will pass up on a Q&A moments before a special guest arrives unexpectedly. You can't see every awesome movie. You will inadvertently shush a director during a screening. You may even literally run into a director as you hurry out of a theatre (true story, me & Don McKellar a few years ago). But no matter what goes wrong, odds are you will see some great films, meet some great people and you will want to attend TIFF year after year after year.

Have a great TIFF everyone!